Reaching Out

**Warning, possible trigger post.**

This is a bamboo peace sign tattoo. I got this on my wrist when my parents were in the middle of their divorce. I am a Caregiver at an assisted living facility and I get a lot of grief from my residents over it. “Why would you get a tattoo?”, “Is that permanent?”, “You’re going to regret that when you get older.”

I tell them all the same thing:

When I was younger I never handled stress well. I used to cut myself. When I got a bit older, and with the help of my friends I eventually stopped, however the urge was always there. Sometimes it was so bad I thought I was going to hurt myself again. Then I found other ways of dealing. I figured out that cutting myself was a way for me to get control over my life, to control something when I couldn’t control all of these horrible emotions and thoughts going on inside my head. So I channeled it. I started cutting my hair, or dyeing it. I started getting piercings, and tattoos. Changing things about myself that I had control over. This one, especially this one is a reminder of that, it being on the arm I would cut on. I see it and I remember, there are other options. There are other choices.

So, will I regret this when I get older? No more than I would regret the scars. This response usually gets them to quiet down. 

It may be a lot to impart on the elderly, but I feel it important to let them know I’m not a dumb kid. I’m a strong woman. I’m not reckless, I’m surviving. I’m not a fool, I’m making things work.

Yes. You.

I love you with all of your faults, all of your fears. I love you with all of your scars, mental and physical.

I love you all.

oooh-a-fish:

ladiizluvcj:

iraeen:

If you’re contemplating suicide…this is for you.

i dont think she realizes how many lives she just saved…

This is so powerful. 

(Source: whenitraeens, via holymotherofrowling)

If you need to talk about anything serious or just want to make small talk I am here :)

(Source: blaineandersonbitch, via storybooklove-deactivated201111)

I don’t want you to just share your stories. I want you to SUPPORT each other. Otherwise all we have is a blog full of sad stories.

Make friends with each other. HELP each other. 

which is why I am posting on here instead of my personal blog, I know you all will understand.

I can’t stand myself right now. I can’t stand where my head is at. My body is stressed to the point where I feel clammy all over. I don’t even know what’s wrong. I just know I don’t feel right, I can’t fucking stand myself.

In your strength, which, maybe you don’t think you have, but believe me, to live with what you are all living with does require strength. I’m inspired by your courage. You all give me hope. Hope that one day people can freely talk about their problems without fear of judgment, without the shame that usually causes us to not tell anyone what we have spoken here.

I love you all and I’m am so thankful for your support, to each other, and to myself and this blog.

(Source: toosluttytofunction, via letsvomit)

(Source: iwantmypinkshirtbackkk, via letsvomit)